Category: Copywriting

25
Feb

Loan Shark Larry Resume

How to start a subprime consumer loan business

Greetings, financial world! I’m the copywriting “shark” you’ve been waiting for. My writing is as sharp as my teeth and as sleek as my fins. I am the predator of financial copywriting, and I take no prisoners.

Name: Loan Shark Larry

Objective: To sink my teeth into a career as a financial copywriting shark.

Education:

  • A. in Bitingly Witty Writing from Shark University
  • Master’s in Money-Making Copy from the School of Hard Knocks

Experience:

  • 5+ years experience as a loan shark, writing persuasive copy that sinks its teeth into consumer wallets
  • Expertise in payday loans, car title loans, installment loans, and personal loans (I’ve been around the block a few times)
  • Proven track record of increasing conversions by using humor, creative storytelling, and a touch of fear (just enough to keep them coming back for more)

Skills:

  • A bite that’s worse than my bark
  • Ability to stay afloat in a sea of financial jargon
  • Strong knowledge of SEO and SEM (I know how to swim to the top of the search results)
  • Proficient in Microsoft Office (I’m not afraid to use Excel to crunch numbers)

Personal Interests:

  • Swimming with the sharks (literally and figuratively)
  • Telling fishy jokes (they’re always a-dolphin-able)
  • Chasing after the big bucks (I’m always angling for a raise)

References:

  • Available upon request (but be warned, I may have to “loan” them to you)

Disclaimer: This resume is intended for entertainment purposes only and any similarities to actual loan sharks is purely coincidental.

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Email me. We can schedule a call & explore …

  1. Want to make a splash in the lending industry? Hire Loan Shark Larry and watch the competition flounder! My copywriting is as powerful as a tidal wave, and I’ll make sure your business is riding the crest of success. So what are you waiting for? Let’s dive in and make some waves!

β†’ Limited time inflation relief pricing: Save $147.00

Limited Time Inflation Relief Pricing $147 Off ends in

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