Category: Copywriting


Loan Shark Larry Resume

How to start a subprime consumer loan business

Greetings, financial world! I’m the copywriting “shark” you’ve been waiting for. My writing is as sharp as my teeth and as sleek as my fins. I am the predator of financial copywriting, and I take no prisoners.

Name: Loan Shark Larry

Objective: To sink my teeth into a career as a financial copywriting shark.


  • A. in Bitingly Witty Writing from Shark University
  • Master’s in Money-Making Copy from the School of Hard Knocks


  • 5+ years experience as a loan shark, writing persuasive copy that sinks its teeth into consumer wallets
  • Expertise in payday loans, car title loans, installment loans, and personal loans (I’ve been around the block a few times)
  • Proven track record of increasing conversions by using humor, creative storytelling, and a touch of fear (just enough to keep them coming back for more)


  • A bite that’s worse than my bark
  • Ability to stay afloat in a sea of financial jargon
  • Strong knowledge of SEO and SEM (I know how to swim to the top of the search results)
  • Proficient in Microsoft Office (I’m not afraid to use Excel to crunch numbers)

Personal Interests:

  • Swimming with the sharks (literally and figuratively)
  • Telling fishy jokes (they’re always a-dolphin-able)
  • Chasing after the big bucks (I’m always angling for a raise)


  • Available upon request (but be warned, I may have to “loan” them to you)

Disclaimer: This resume is intended for entertainment purposes only and any similarities to actual loan sharks is purely coincidental.


Email me. We can schedule a call & explore …

  1. Want to make a splash in the lending industry? Hire Loan Shark Larry and watch the competition flounder! My copywriting is as powerful as a tidal wave, and I’ll make sure your business is riding the crest of success. So what are you waiting for? Let’s dive in and make some waves!

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