Name: Loan Shark Larry

Objective: To sink my teeth into a career as a financial copywriting shark.

Education:

• A. in Bitingly Witty Writing from Shark University
• Master’s in Money-Making Copy from the School of Hard Knocks

Experience:

• 5+ years experience as a loan shark, writing persuasive copy that sinks its teeth into consumer wallets
• Expertise in payday loans, car title loans, installment loans, and personal loans (I’ve been around the block a few times)
• Proven track record of increasing conversions by using humor, creative storytelling, and a touch of fear (just enough to keep them coming back for more)

Skills:

• A bite that’s worse than my bark
• Ability to stay afloat in a sea of financial jargon
• Strong knowledge of SEO and SEM (I know how to swim to the top of the search results)
• Proficient in Microsoft Office (I’m not afraid to use Excel to crunch numbers)

Personal Interests:

• Swimming with the sharks (literally and figuratively)
• Telling fishy jokes (they’re always a-dolphin-able)
• Chasing after the big bucks (I’m always angling for a raise)

References:

• Available upon request (but be warned, I may have to “loan” them to you)

Disclaimer: This resume is intended for entertainment purposes only and any similarities to actual loan sharks is purely coincidental.